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Oscar Brand - Appendectomy, Country-Style (The McBurney Square) lyrics
Wash your hands and get them dry, Keep them clean and keep them high. When you're sure that you are able, Promenade up to the table And get that appendix, lay it bare, We're doing the McBurney Square. Now drape that patient neat and tight, Bare the quadrant of the lower right. Do-si-do and careful all, while you make an incision in that wall. Right hand under if you dare, Doing the McBurney Square. Swing that knife blade, with a toss, Along the muscles, not across, With your fingers then induce The peritoneum to work loose, You mustn't rip and you mustn't tear Doing the McBurney Square. When the cavity's been breached, The cecum and appendix reached, Put a purse-string suture on the base And sprinkle gauze pads 'round the place, Duck for the oyster, I declare, Doing that McBurney Square. With a peritoneal cuff inside, Crush, ligate and then divide. Swing your partner, I'll swing mine, Paint the stump with iodine, Now force it back again with care Doing that McBurney Square. Tie the purse string very tight, Suture the peritoneum right, Let those muscles settle in, Then count the pads and close the skin, Salute the patient, collect your fee, You've done the appendectomy. |
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