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Wolfe Tones - Paddy's Dream (Poem) lyrics
Once upon a time I was invited by an old friend of mine To come over to his residence and taste his beer and wine Well we 'et lobster salad and lots of other truck And we drank each other's health until the hour of three had struck. Well we drank until we didn't know which was wine or beer. Then our heads felt rather heavy and my brains not very clear Well, how I got home that night, I don't really know. My prayers I think I said. Bloody hell, I was paralyzed, when I got into bed. Well, I died and I went to heaven I found that repentance was now for me, too late! When suddenly, I was ushered before the Golden Gates. "Well, what do ye want?" says Peter, "Don't ye know ye can't get in? For you must surely suffer that greedy glutton sin!" Then I turned aside and said no more, and turned my head in shame And Peter's clerk he stood close by, and he wrote - 'lost' - against my name. Aah. (audience: Aahhh) Well, next came an Italian, one whom I knew very well So I stopped and I listened patiently, for the story he might tell. "Aah the Good-a da Father, the Saint Peder-nal, I come-a to you at last-a. My peanut-a days are over, my be-nana de nights have past-a." "I see tha my neighbor like-a myself No begs, no rob-ba no steal. And never onna da sidewalks, I t'row-a my banana da peel." "Then you get out!" says Peter "Your gains were ill-begotten. Your peanut shells were empty Your bananas oft-times rotten." Well the Italian turned aside, and a tear was in his eye, He came and stood beside me, and heaved a heavy sigh. Aah. (audience: Aahhh). Well next came an aged Hebrew, with a satchel in his hand. And before the gate of old St. Peter, the Hebrew stood his stand. "Aah, the good father, Peter! I vill tell you vat I vill do! I've got jewel-e-ry fit for h'angels! I will h'auction h'off to you!" "I could sell it among the installment plan! But that would be a sin, so I will give them to you for half price - if you vill let me in." "I may to keep the clothing store, my goods are nice and strong. And to show you, I had an overcoat that I forgets to bring along." "Ah, but you did well," says Peter, "for very well you know, There's little use for overcoats, Where youuuuuuuuuu...... will have to go." Well, the Hebrew turned aside, and as he was a friend of mine, Just like me and all the rest, he took his place in line. Well next came an old maid from England, one bound to have her way. So she began addressing Peter in this most peculiar way: "Oh, goodness gracious me! Ha ha, Here I am after gossiping many a year. So, open the gate and let me in, I'm catching cold out h'year!" "And give me a first class pair of wings, a silver shield and then, I won't have to be afraid of those naughty, naughty men." "No!", Peter answered bluntly, "No angels have gray hair. And as you have no sons or daughters, you'd be a stranger there." Well, the old maid wilted, she must evermore a-pine, And just like me, and all the rest, she waddled into line. Well, next came poor Paddy, a son of Erin's Isle. And he greeted old St Peter with a very gracious smile. "Hah, hah, It's yourself, St. Peter! Lookin' so nice and sweet. So get your clerk to let me in, and show me to me seat!" "Hold!" cried Peter, "Your case, like all the rest, must first be tried. And you will have to show a passport before you get inside". Ha ha! "For Jaesus sakes, St. Peter! Ah, for supper I'll be late!" So poor Paddy he took off his little old cap, and he threw it inside the gate. "Go get thy hat!" says Peter, "thou sacrilegious lout!" So poor Paddy, he went. And he slammed the gate, and he locked St. Peter out! (cheers and applause) Then, then through the keyhole, loud he cried, "Yaa, ha ha, me boy-o! Ha ha, I'm the master now, you see! But I'll give up heaven, the gates, and the crown, If you'll set the six counties free!" Well, then I awoke, and found that my head was between the bed and the wall. The sheets were all tangled 'round my feet. T' was the beer- that did it all. |
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