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Adam Sandler - Toll Booth Willie lyrics
[Car approaches] Toll Booth Willie: "Welcome to Worchester. Dollar twenty-five please." M1: "Hey, how ya doin' Toll Booth Willie?" Toll Booth Willie: "Good! Thanks fer askin, pop!" M1: "Aww, that's great, you know, considering yer a fuckin' idiot!" [Pays toll and drives off] Toll Booth Willie: "Go fuck yourself you son of a bitch! I'll come right outta the booth and fuckin' whack ya, you fuckin' prick!" [Another car approaches] M2: "Hey, hey, Willie! Hows it going?" Toll Booth Willie: "Hey, can't complain, pop. Hows 'bout you?" M2: "Oh, great, great. How much?" Toll Booth Willie: "The state charges a dollar twenty-five, pop." M2: "That's fine. Now should I give you the money, or should I shove the quarters directly up your fat ass!?" [Pays toll and drives off] Toll Booth Willie: "Why you fuckin' hard on! I'll fucking Carlton Fisk yer fuckin' head with a Louise-ville fuckin' slugger! Whadya think of that ass fuck!?" [Another car approaches] F1: "Hi Willie." Toll Booth Willie: "Oh, nice to see ya M'am. Not a bad day, huh?" F1: "Well, I'm a little lost. Could you help me out? I hear your the best with directions." Toll Booth Willie: "Well I know my way around New England. I can tell ya that much. So where ya headed?" F1: "Well, I was just wondering exactly which is the best way to drive up your ass. You know, if you'd tell me, I'd appreciate it, you fuckin' prick." [Drives off] Toll Booth Willie: "You fuckin' bitch! Fuck you! You forgot to pay the fuckin' toll you dirty whore! I'll fuckin' drop you with a boot to the fuckin' skull you cum guzzling queen!" [Another car approaches] M3: "Hey Willie." Toll Booth Willie: "Hey, how are ya?" M3: "Here's a dollar twenty-five, and go fuck yourself." [Pays toll and drives off] Toll Booth Willie: "Dah, you fuckin' prick! I hope you choke on a fuckin' bottle cap, ya fuckin' son of a fuck! Eat shit! Eat my shit!" [Another car approaches] Bishop Nelson: "Hello Willie. Good to see you." Toll Booth Willie: "Ahhh, Bishop Nelson. Nice to see ya. That was quite a sermon you had the other day." Bishop Nelson: "Hey, well I do my best." Toll Booth Willie: "Dollar twenty-five, Bishop." Bishop Nelson: "Dollar twenty-five, Willie. Isn't that the same price your mother charges for a blow job, you piece of dog shit!?" [Pays toll and drives off] Toll Booth Willie: "Ohhh! Have another one, you fuckin' lush! It's not my fault the bartender cut ya off last night ya fuckin' douche bag!" [Another car approaches] M5: "Hey!" Toll Booth Willie: "Well hey!" M5: "Yeah, do you want the money, or should I just shove the quarters directly up your fat ass!?" [Pays toll and drives off] Toll Booth Willie: "Well, I already heard that one you fuckin' unoriginal bastard! Go suck a corn you fuckin' piece of repeatin' shit!" [Another car approaches] F2: "Hi." Toll Booth Willie: "Oh, hi. How are ya?" F2: "Fine, thank you. How much is the toll please?" Toll Booth Willie: "For you sweetheart, it's a dollar twenty-five." F2: "Here ya go." [Pays toll] F2: "Thank you." [Begins to drive off] Toll Booth Willie: "Hey! Hey! Honey! Would you like a receipt with that?" F2: "Oh, I almost forgot. Thank you so much." [Toll Booth Willie scribbling a receipt for her] Toll Booth Willie: "And here ya are." F2: "Umm, do you think you could sign it?" Toll Booth Willie: "Oh, uh.. sign it?" F2: "Yeah, sign Toll Booth Willie was here." Toll Booth Willie: "Ok, sure. Uhh, by the way, what is this for?" [Signing receipt] F2: "Just so I could have proof for my friends that I met the biggest fuckin' dip shit with the smallest dick alive. You understand." [Drives off] [Crumples up paper] Toll Booth Willie: "Fuck you, you fuckin' upity bitch! I'll fuckin' fuck you and all your lesbian fish-eating friends in front of your fuckin' mothers! You're gonna die, bitch! I'm comin' outta the booth!" [Opens the door and runs out of the booth] [Car screeches and hits him] Toll Booth Willie: "Ooooh! My fuckin' leg!" M6: "Hey! You ran over Toll Booth Willie!" M7: "Oh my God! I was always wondering what it would be like to run over a dried up stinky dick licker." Toll Booth Willie: "Why you fuckin' pricks. I fuckin' hear every fuckin' word yer saying! When this fuckin' leg heals, I'm gonna kick you guys new fuckin' assholes! [Everyone cussing eachother out] |
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