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Monty Python - Bruce's Philosophers Song lyrics
Immanuel Kant was a real piss-ant who was very rarely stable Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar who could think you under the table David Hume could out-consume Schopenhauer and Hegel And Wittgenstein was a beery swine who was just as sloshed as Schlegel There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya 'bout the raising of the wrist Socrates himself was permanently pissed John Stewart Mill of his own free will on half a pint of shandy was particularly ill Plato they say could stick it away 'alf a crate of whisky every day Aristotle Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle Hobbes was fond of his dram And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart: "I drink, therefore I am" Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed A lovely little thinker but a bugger when he's pissed |
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