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Kevin Bloody Wilson - You Can Never Find One lyrics
The pubs are closed, it's pissing down and the street lights just went out and your tripping over pot holes sticking up out of the ground You called the cab an hour ago but still it hasn't come you can never find a taxi when you need one. You can never find the bastards when you need one need one find one (not fucking likely) It's only when your nearly home you ever fucking see one but you can never find a taxi when you need one So you start to walk through wind and rain to find your on way home, but you get bashed and kicked and mugged and robbed and left there on your own, then cops turn up and knock you off for being fucking drunk, you can never find a copper when you need one You can never find the bastards when you need one need one see one (hello dick head) It's only when your in the shit you ever fucking see one you can never find a copper when you need one Or you try to do the right thing and go camping with the kids, to show 'em all about the bush and teach them things you did, but thirty tourist coaches turn up full of japs and yanks you can never find a crocodile when you need one You can never find the bastards when you need one need one see one (yummy yummy yummy) the bastards all went swimming to but fucked if I could see one you can never find a crocodile when you need one The kids have lost you tent and torch and all the stuff you took, then they pinch your matches light a fire and burn down half the bush. Then one gets crook and one gets lost, the other wants his mum you can never find a dingo when you need one You can never find the bastards when you need one need one see one (howl) It's times like these you wish to christ you could fucking be one you can never find a dingo when you need one You can never find the bastards when you need one need one see one (the dingos got my esky) cabs and cops and crocodiles and even fucking dingo's You can never find the bastards when you need one |
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