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Rating:  4.50 (4 votes)
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Composer:

Kevin Bloody Wilson - The Featherbrain Championship lyrics



you could see a blew was brewin' as they eyed each other off
and the tension only mounted when snakey won the toss
"you break" he said to lofty as he chucked across the que
and the tention in the pub just grew and grew

"i'll break alright" said lofty as he snapped the que in half
and flung it back at snake and said "here shove this up your ass"
"me nanna give me that" said snakey "mate your fucking gone"
and the featherbrain championship was on

it was the front bar featherbrain non-title fight
two blokes the size of buffalos, big but not too bright
and no-one gives two knobs of goat shit who was wrong or right
in the front bar featherbrain non-title fight

no-one seemed to know too much about their pedigrees
in that sort of place you didn't ask them sort of things
they said lofty's from the top end he was ugly tough and mean
used a welders wire brush to scrub his teeth

and snake was just plain ugly where he come from no-one knew
rekon rambo woulda shit himself if snakey told him to
and together they weighed half a ton in singlet shorts and thongs
there was no cunt home but all the lights where on

the breeze near knocked me over when snake threw the opening punch
it seemed to come from nowhere i just heard this sickening chrunch
i thought if any bastard lives through that they're pretty fuckin' good
was like a railway peddlers hammer splitting wood

it threw lofty 'gainst the 8-ball table, flipped it on it's edge
but he just casually got up walked around and ripped off all the legs
the one by one he smashed the cunts 'cross snakey's ugly head
if his brain weren't so well padded he'd be dead

snakey shook his skull and blinked a bit and slowly looked around
then chucked a right that woulda knocked a war memorial down
the force of it sent lofty flyin' crashin' through the wall
now there's a doorway where there weren't one there before

he landed ass up in the shithouse with his feet up in the air
bricks and dust and broken glass and paper everywhere
and caked in that and crap he ripped the dunny off the wall
and armed with that and fuck all brains went back for more

he smashed that dunny over snakeys head, shattering it to bits
pepperin' him with porcalin and splattering him with shit
there was teeth amongst the muck and shit whose they where you couldn't tell
but it looks like lofty lost an ear as well

and snakes right eye was swolen shut from where he'd copped one hard
faif dinkum mate it looked as black as earny dingo's ass
but with all the peices missing and with all the blood and gore
they weren't as fuckin' ugly as before

there was flesh and bone and blood and shit smeared on the walls
and them two bastards wallowing in it rolling on the floor
the republican just scrached his balls wonderin' lookin round
should he clean the bastard up or burn it down

most blues you see turn out to be a win or loss or draw
but fucked if seen both opponents lose a fight before
i heard snakey say to lofty as they crawled across the bar
"fuck the snooker, wanna game of darts"

it was the front bar featherbrain non-title fight
two blokes the size of buffalos, big but not too bright
and no-one gives two knobs of goat shit who was wrong or right
in the front bar featherbrain non-title fight
Songs list of album: My Australian Roots (2004)
         Title Rating
01    You Orta' See Me (When I'm Pissed) lyrics Add lyrics   -
02    Double Decker Dog lyrics Add lyrics   -
03    The Great Roberto lyrics Add lyrics   -
04    Me Dicks on the Dole lyrics Add lyrics   -
05   The Featherbrain Championship lyrics  
4.50
06    The First Six Rows lyrics Add lyrics   -
07    Olie and Olga lyrics Add lyrics   -
08   You Can Never Find One lyrics   -
09    "Flowers" lyrics Add lyrics   -
10   The Buiilder lyrics   -
11    Amazing Grass lyrics Add lyrics   -
 

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