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Kevin Bloody Wilson - The Festival of Life lyrics
Ah, the Festival of Life is 'in' to save my fuckin' soul They don't want me drinkin' piss or screwin' round no more But they've got fuckin' Buckley's chance I'm giving you the score Still the Festival of Life keeps tryin' to save my fuckin' soul It's Saturday afternoon at last, it's what you've waited for all week Relax and put the feet up, turn the footy on TV You're expecting Vern and Bluey round, they'll probably stay all night A coupla mates and a coupla beers - aw, Christ, this is the life Well, here they are already, you just heard the car door slam You wedge yourself out of your chair, get up to let 'em in But it's some wanker that you've never met, with a briefcase in his hand Some prick just out of Bible school, who thinks he's God's right hand Halleluiah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah Chorus Ah, the Festival of life keeps tryin' to save my fuckin' soul They don't want me drinkin' piss or screwin' round no more But they've got fuckin' Buckley's chance I'm giving you the score Still the Festival of Life keeps tryin' to save my fuckin' soul 'I'm Elder Robbins 'n' he's Elder Pike 'n' we'd like to talk to y'all 'Bout eternal salvation, won't take but a minute or more We got a book we think y'aII should read, 'bout how y'all should live My, what a charmin' home y'all have - y'all mind it we come in?' 'Well, I'd love t'invite yer in yer know, but the joint's a fuckin' mess And there's an orgy ragin' in the lounge, and every cunt's undressed! And I'd love yer to meet the missus, Shirl, but she's a bit crook in bed She says she's got a real sore throat through givin' too much head!' Gobblegobble, gobblegobble, gobblegobble Repeat Chorus All snuggled up on Sunday mornin' and you wake up with a horn You grab the missus on the arse, oh, Christ she feels so warm The scene is set, the mood's just right, you're about to slip it in Then - (knock knock, knock) - there's that fuckin' door again! 'Good morning, sir, did I get you up? Sorry, I'm David and this is Pam We're missionaries who've come to talk of Man's eternal plan And to discuss the holy future and reflect the holy past.' So you flash your dick and scream 'I'll holy shove this up your arse!' Up your arsehole, up your arsehole, up your arsehole Repeat Chorus Well it's not like it's just once or twice, it's every damn weekend Now how d'ya think they'd like it if we done the same to them? You know, turn up on their doorstep at a time they least expect Try and ram our way of life down their fuckin' necks! Just imagine for a minute the reception that you'd get With a couple of stick books in your hand and a carton on the steps And your missus chewin' chewin' gum in a really low-cut dress And you in thongs and overalls-you know, your fuckin' Sunday best! What a yobbo, what a yobbo, what a yobbo Repeat Chorus Gidday, we're pissed-up testecostacals, I'm Kevin and this is Shirl We've come to introduce you cunts to a whole new fuckin' world We've come to preach the good news, we think it's what you need to hear We'll show you more fun in five minutes than you've had all fuckin' year! Now You, sweetheart, you come with me and I'll teach you how to sin And Sister Shirl, old sort, 'll suck your sav until your 'ead caves in~ Aw shit, your missus just fainted, so we won't bother comin' in We'll just piss off back to our place-just drop ten bucks in the tin 'Nother carton, 'nother carton, 'nother carton |
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