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Brian Weeks - Two Inch Tango (The Viagra Song) lyrics
I had a visit with my doctor, a little thing I had to fix. I think I'd rather have a big thing, cuz only big ones get the chicks. I said: 'I need an operation, an "Addadicktome" will do. I think I'd like eleven inches, I've been so miserable with two.' He showed me just the thing for me, Viagra, operation free. One capsule, fifty-seven lays, that oughta last a couple days... I hurried home to my appartement, ran up the stairs and locked the door. The yellow pages and a dictionary, I had some trouble spellin' 'whore.' I told the Madam on the love line: 'send half a dozen of your best.' Two thousand dollars didn't even phase me, I've got American Express. Two days of extacy and joy, six nyphos, one big happy boy. They're comming over in an hour, I took a capsule and a shower... Another visit to the doctor, this time in agony and pain. I felt anemic and emaciated, the doctor asked me to explain. I rustled out of my suspenders, my trousers fell around my shins. Looked like a mad-man with a blinder, had attacked little Sammy and the Twins. I told him: 'the Madam came, the Madam went. Threw back my credit card and told me to get bent. I tried to beg, that didn't please her, they don't take AmEx only Visa...' 'So there I stood in my appartement, eleven inches and a pout. I couldn't help it I abused myself, until the Viagra wore out. Now I don't care about my Sammy, beatings never did him any harm. Although I'm finished with Viagra, I need some Morphiene for my arm.' Yes there are lessions that are hard, there's really no two ways about it. And one day I'll get a Visa card and, I'm never leaving home without it. |
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