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Fascinating Aida - Suddenly New Zealand lyrics
When you’re lying awake With a dismal headache, And repose is tabooed by anxiety, It is hardly surprising If you’re agonising Considering modern society; There are terrible dangers From horrible strangers Whose every intention is criminal; There are counterfeit healers And Ecstasy dealers Who thrive ’cause policing is minimal; We’ve got under-age nooky, And lads playing hooky Who lurk around corners to mug us; And there’s Proddies and Papists And robbers and rapists With tabs of Rohypnol to drug us; On the street you take fright At the menacing sight Of graffiti in French and Cyrillic; And behind curtains drawn, People downloading porn Are indulging in tastes paedophilic; Though the threats are tremendous, The law won’t defend us, And don’t even think of resistance; So before it’s too late, Let us all emigrate To a very much better existence… Suddenly New Zealand doesn’t seem so boring, Suddenly New Zealand seems attractively remote; Lots of sheep and lambs and sheep and lambs And sheep and lambs and sheep and lambs And sheep and lambs and sheep and lambs And sheep and lambs and sheep and lambs And sheep and lambs and the occasional goat. So you’re lying in bed, And the thoughts in your head Return to your present condition; A beastly fanatic Plans something dramatic To send us all of to perdition; From some part of the globe Comes a chap in a robe And a headdress he looks very nice in; But beneath his djellaba The fellow may harbour A lethal container of ricin; He’s so fundamental He hasn’t seen Yentl And preaches demonic polemic; He wants each infidel To descend into Hell With a case of bubonic systemic; In his safe sleeper cell, He blends in very well With his suitably quiet demeanour; While he’s learning to fly, He is living close by In a bed-sit above your dry-cleaner; We know what we must do, ‘Cause the world that we knew Is vanishing like the poor dodo; There’s a good life to be had Away from the Jihad As neighbours of Bilbo and Frodo… Suddenly New Zealand doesn’t seem so dreary, Suddenly New Zealand seems to suit us rather well; Lots of hills and dales and hills and dales And hills and dales and hills and dales And hills and dales and hills and dales And hills and dales and hills and dales And hills and dales and the occasional dell. Well you still cannot sleep, And you suffer la grippe As these terrible visions all trouble you; It’s no wonder you’re glum, There is worse yet to come - As you’ve guessed, I refer to George W; For he is on course To use maximum force, For a better world order’s his aim here; When he’s done with Iraq, He’ll put up a blue plaque Saying “This was once Mesopotamia!”; If he sticks to the text, North Korea is next, And we’ll watch it on footage that’s grainy; Then Iran, Pakistan, Oh, and Azerbaijan Will be totalled by Rumsfeld and Cheney; No you won’t see him falter As Jersey and Malta Are governed from South Carolina; And on Saturday week, In a fit of sheer pique, He will launch an invasion of China; With Blair in his kennel, This prince among men’ll Ensure that just one thing is certain - The UN and EU And, of course, NATO too, Will be gone for a haliburton… Suddenly New Zealand doesn’t seem so tedious, Suddenly New Zealand doesn’t seem like such a dud; Lots of springs and geysers, springs and geysers, Springs and geysers, springs and geysers, Springs and geysers, springs and geysers, Springs and geysers, springs and geysers, Springs and geysers, and a lot of hot mud. Suddenly New Zealand doesn’t seem so numbing, Suddenly New Zealand is awash with many charms; Lots of plots and homesteads, plots and homesteads, Plots and homesteads, plots and homesteads, Plots and homesteads, plots and homesteads, Plots and homesteads, plots and homesteads, Plots and homesteads, and a lot of nice farms. |
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