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Deviates - My Life lyrics
Classes I've got something to say about the state of union today it's not a union, sometimes i wonder if it ever was United states, united people, is it all just b.s. are we all created equal correct me if I'm wrong, i hope i am i stand in the lower class and i see no end we're all just victims of income segregation why must 3 classes separate the entire nation? there's 3 classes, 1 on top and 1 below the middle doesn't matter and neither does the low the top irritate and subjugate the bottom two try to deny it but they do it to you now the masses are controlled by the minority they have just wealth, not rightful authority we see the rich pockets getting fatter, faster what will you do, is money your master? land of opportunities i hear the word opportunity so many times I'm not sure what it means to me all importance lost in a definition that's been spread to the masses by the age of integrity i hear the talk about stability, i start to realize this ain't the land of opportunity i heard a story today about a man who had millions but no stories to tell climbed on top of his mountain of money & found he was all alone to live a life in the name of money was the opportunity he should have blown no shit i realize, I'm not the only one this happens everyday, you know it happens to everyone i get real pissed off, & i throw my hands in the air but i got my friends with me, so i don't care don't tell me what i want, don't tell me what i need don't tell me what i have or what to be taking, ill tell you what i want don't worry about me, I've got my opportunity i remember when i think of my youth, i don't remember you, you weren't there you didn't care, you still don't care, you never cared if i did, but i don't it was a dream i had no choice, i couldn't scream i had no voice to say or do anything, i was all alone and the hate did grow and i remember what its like to be different, a constant fight, ya, i remember you couldn't see no you couldn't feel, wake up from the dream just to find its real, yeah i remember my mind was full of hate, my heart was empty i couldn't take it it was your choice to leave, i hated you, did you hate me? a fight for custody, over me, a piece of property, just filled me w/ confusion empty thoughts, anger & illusions. Do you remember me, that whining kid, that crying baby the hate has evolved, problem solved, you don't exist, its all your fault yeah i remember what its like to be a kid, that's not my life you're nothing to me, you never were, that's pretty lame i guess that's just the way it goes... but i remember My life what you think doesn't f@!#$ matter to me i like my life, run by me how it's gonna be i might decide to change my ways of i might decide to ruin your day ok, i figured it out, 2 people and 1 chair that's what this life is all about your life is just a single day, wake up & go to work, your death your escape my life, it's all i have, it's something we share, & we die wondering if and why, no i don't care what you think you saw, you didn't see, & what you wanna be, you're never gonna be my life is not gonna be that way, when i die I'll smile, cause i did it my way take a run here's your chance come and get me, I've been beaten but you'll never beat me, had your chance now it's gone, and it's up to me i understand you, do you understand me? understand one damn thing, it's my life, my way, my life, it's all i have its something we share, wondering if and why no i don't care wasting away wondering if you will die tonight, i wont waste 1 day of my life should... i guess I'm wasting my time trying to tell you how i feel, or maybe asking you how you see us, I'm confused but i know what i mean i can never say it, i could hardly write it, you'll probably never read this i';m not going to sign it, no that's not me, it just seems this is the way it had to be, not anymore i want you & me, this is the way it had to be should have would have could have had it, i blew my chance but I'm glad i had one, far away out of range you cant see no words can explain & no song seems complete the more i speak i make a fool out of me, what can be said I'm incomplete this is the way it had to be, not anymore i want you & me, this is the way it had to be this town I've tried so many times to leave this place, this town, my life these streets are a map of my past, tomorrow they'll tell me about last night there's nog odd news if there's any news at all, this place is boring, this place sucks, this place is home, I've walked these streets 18 years, my whole life, i know their names like mine, and i hate tonight where should we go from here, where will be next year, this city is changing but it's all the same, we've been here, done that, seen this, & trashed that i can't take another day, i hate tonight i say this 7 nights a week i hate tonight, i hate this f!@#$ town, everywhere i go & everything i see i try to shrug it away, i try to sleep it away, i try to drink it away i want to keep it away, there's nothing left to see, it's a part of me no, it's not a part of me. I've tried so many times to leave this place this town my life, the same problems always come my way, it's getting harder to see guess I'll find my way home, i close my mind & the problems solved if tomorrow comes, ill push on through i hate (teen angst) I'm not racist i hate everyone and yes, i hate you. I hate cops, authority figures, parents, teachers too. i hate cabbage & brussel sprouts. i hate things i can live without & i can live without you. i can live without you, so just leave me alone, take your ball & go home, I'll do it on my own the years go by and the names, they change yet teenage rebellion remains the same, just pissed on kids living pissed off lives, pissed on lives playing to lose you can't find it, but i know you will, it hurts me & kills me to feel your hell you find comfort that you'd like to share you find you're not alone and now you like it here, i never thought I'd see today, i never thought I'd see you this way, tell me everything's gonna be ok, i see that look in your eyes and i know you're lying, i feel the flames & they warm me , i feel the burn & it reminds me that my well has run dry & I'm empty inside. too much is not enough, you've learned too late, when you were sure to lose, you raced to the game and now in a scene where you get happy rejected, i find a friend who is starved for acceptance. i never thought I'd see today, i never thought I'd see you this way, tell me everything's gonna be ok, i see that look in your eyes and i know I'm lying. running from your past, you're blind at the present and all your plan have sold you out you're looking for solutions, never looking forward, falling faster than before, i can't believe a word that's said and now i know you know you're lying to yourself your lies are hanging you, you're hanging you, stop blaming someone else we grew up in our youth we must have been blind, no conditions, none, friends easy to find, but we grew up set in our ways, now what's happened it's worse every day I've opened up & still you can't see, don't hear my words you don't understand me I'm trying hard & i don't want it to end hey what happened? we used to be friends. now it seems that we're so used to it become so normal cant do without it, not by choice, you say you do it by habit too much fighting you know i don't want it. we grew up, i guess that just depends we grew up, does that mean we're not friends one day 26 and Paul wants a great life, a good paying job, a nice house, a kid, a pretty wife. he can't hold a job, he never has & knows he never will, he plays the lottery & blames his problems on the world. I've been seeing this shit for some time, we all got our problems, i guess we've all got our needs, I've been seeing this shit for some time, take good care of yourself. first of the month and the rent is due again, checking his savings he's got pocket lint to spend. down on his luck, with no tears to spare, desperation motivates a mind not clear. one day he said things are gonna change, one day when I've got things squared away. one day soon turns into the next, one day were the words he said with his last breath. 1992 Paul walks into the liquor store, with an unloaded pistol, i don't need to say more. his life ended in that tragic day, noone cared for him, not one to this day maybe tomorrow a missing child, a mother too weak to stand she cries, her world turned upside down she sobs where is my baby a victim of apathy. no one regrets, no one regrets what they forgot. nobody feels pain that's not theirs, nobody feels anymore. while we count our losses we can see that noone here claims a victory. cries for help left unanswered are written down in the pages of history. no one regrets, no one regrets what they forgot. nobody feels pain that's not theirs, nobody feels anymore. why can't we see this is reality? why can't we see, this happens every day? why can't we see that we're part of it? why can't we see it's what we are, it's what we've done? the problem here is clear, the helpless cries ring in our ears. an epidemic ever present claims victims with no names. i ask you how we can be content with what we see? the tragedies that we've all seen, i know we'll see again. why can't we see this is reality? why can't we see, this happens every day? it never goes away. why can't we see that we're part of it? look around ya know we're part of it? when will we see it's what we are, it's what we've done? what I've heard when your friends hurt you, they know it isn't good, you don't respect them, i know that i never could. when it comes to respect you must give to receive, with friends like these, who need enemies. from what I've heard one who hurts is not a friend. choose them wisely or they'll hurt you in the end. when it comes to looking for friends, most pick and choose. the ones that don't are the ones that always seem to lose. it's happened to me. you know I've seen it before but the good friends the true friends are the ones that endure . like i said, respect is not a given, neither is trust in the world that we're living. the trust is not there with friends lik e these, i have no respect for people like these. who will be hurt? who will hurt who knows? it won't be me no way, but i know. we've all allowed and we all will again be hurt by people, the people we call friends there for me she was there for me and i don't know why. she was there for me did i treat her good? though i didnt speak she always understood, i took her for granted and i don't know why. throng all the tough times she loved me. preoccupied i was too blind to see. she gave her all, she gave her life she had no more, she did it all for me. she knew me but did she know? i loved her but did it show? there was a letter and i knew why. she said she loved me then she said goodbye. midline i need help i cant leave i cant breathe. i see my way out but I'm in too deep to care. emotionless, i feel myself about to break. self-destruction, self corruption, this life i know, this life i hate . with each passing day my outlets slip away. i believe the lies and i dig myself in deeper. i play a daily game of tug a war between what's in my heart and what's on my mind, not weighing circumstances, passing blindly by my chances knowing some day i might die. in the silence of my nightmare noone else can hear me scream, noone else knows what i need, noone else believes, i could die and not care. i need something to set me free. reflections from my past that seem so unreal to me, I'm out of touch i can no longer feel me, my heart is sick and my mind is reeling. don't know myself, don't know why i still don't care . I'm the only one that's paying, and I'm the only one that's playing. the more i struggle the more i lose. i dig myself in deeper and still don't care then the moment comes when you reach for my heart, i know it's to hard to find |
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