May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
We're gonna have a problem here.

Y'all act like you've never seen a white person before,
Jaws all on the floor like Pam and Tommy just burst in the door,
And started whooping her ass worse then before,
Like the first divorce and suing her over furniture
It's the return of the - aw wait, no wait, you're kidding,
He didn't just say what i think he did, did he?
And Dr. Dre said - nothing, you idiots!
Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement (ha-ha)
(Feminist women love Eminem)
Chica-chica-chica-Slim Shady, I'm sick of him
Look at him, walking around grabbing his you-know-what
Flipping at you-know-who
Yeah, but he's so cute though!
Yeah I probably got a couple screws up in my head loose,
But no worse than what's going on in your parents bedroom
Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just let loose,
But I can't, but it's cool for tom green to hump a dead moose,
My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips,
And if I'm lucky you might just give it a little kiss.
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
Of course they gonna know what intercourse is by the time they hit fourth grade,
They got the discovery channel don't they
We ain't nothing but mammals,
Well, some of us cannibals who cuttin' other people open like cantaloupes.
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes,
Then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
But if you feel like I feel I got the antidote
Women wear your panty hose, sing the chorus and it goes....

Chorus:
I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady,
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up?
Please stand up, please stand up
Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady,
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up?
Please stand up, please stand up

Will Smith don't gotta cuss on his rap to sell records,
Well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too
You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me.
(but Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?)
Why? So you guys can just lie to get me here?
So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears?
Nsync, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst,
And hear em argue over who she gave head to first,
Little bitch put me on blast on MTV
(yeah he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim hehe)
I should download her audio on mp3
And show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD
I'm sick of you lil girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me
So I have been sent here to destroy you.
And there's a million others just like me, who cuss like me,
Who just don't give a fuck like me,
Who dress like me, walk, talk and act like me.
You just might be the next best thing, but not quite me

Repeat Chorus:

I'm like a head trip to listen to,
Cause I'm only giving you things you joke about
With your friends inside your living room
The only difference is I've got the balls to say it in front of y'all,
And I don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all,
I just get on the mic and spit it,
And rather you like to admit it, I just shit it
Better than 90% of you rappers out there,
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valums,
It's funny, cause at the rate I'm going when I'm 30
I'll be the only person in the nursing home flirting
Pinching nurse's asses while I'm jacking off with Jergens,
said I'm jerking but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working.
And every single person is a Slim Shady lurking,
He could be working at Burger King spitting on your onion rings,
Or in the parking lot circling screaming 'I don't give a fuck'
With his windows down and his system up.
So would the real Shady please stand up?
And put one of those fingers on each hand up,
And be proud to be out of your mind and out of control,
And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?

Repeat Chorus Two Times

Ha Ha, guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us
Fuck it, let's all stand up

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