Jeffrey couldn’t get a date to the junior prom,
So he stayed home and played with his mom,
As a kid, Jeffrey ate a lot of paste,
Just to see the uniqueness of its taste.
One time he slipped on a turtle at the zoo,
Then he tripped and fell in to elephant poo.

Jeffrey’s not the coolest boy,
His only friend is little Roy,
That’s his imaginary homie,
Jeff eats soap cuz it tastes foamy.

He’s a loser, and he is fat,
He even tried to bone his cat,
He needs to get some friends and a life,
Jeff still uses a night-light.

Jeffrey took a needle and tried to pierce his tongue,
Because his father left him when he was very young,
For years and years Jeffrey had to see a shrink,
His insanity was at its brink,
Jeff wasn’t potty trained until he was nine,
He moved onto bigger things and boned his canine.

Jeffrey’s not the coolest boy,
His only friend is little Roy,
That’s his imaginary homie,
Jeff eats soap cuz it tastes foamy.

He is stupid, he’s not cool,
Even when he's awake he drools,
He really loves to eat dog food,
He plays soccer in the nude.

Jeff walked around trying to pluck a mongoose,
They don’t have feathers; it was no use.
Ten years later, Jeffrey wound up in jail,
He kept on humping animals and fed them ginger ale,
He was released; his humping days were over,
Until he was seduced by the little dog rover.

Jeffrey’s still a loser guy,
I think he’s permanently high,
He still has an imaginary homie,
That stupid bitch can blow me!

He’s a loser and he’s fat,
He even tried to bone his cat,
He needs to get some friends and a life,
Jeff still uses a night-light

Go back to "The Lyric Archive"